The Nightmare of Christmas 4 - "Fourth in the trilogy" "Trilogy is THREE!"
Disclaimer (no, not a copyright or lack of it one this time): You know the drill with my stories. Eating. I'm not going in for long descriptions of weight gain, again.
"So, here it is! Merry Christmas! Everybody's having fun! Look to the future now! It's only just begun!"
Around them Ash, Misty and Brock could hear quite alien sounds, because they had made the mistake of spending Christmas in the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland in a a vain hope to see another constitutional monarch, namely the queen of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and the British Commonwealth. (Of course, they just thought she was the Queen of England, because most of their beliefs about British culture were based on a US stereotype according to which there was also a KING of England.) Misty had heard rumours about the huge variety and amount of foods eaten by the British during Christmastime, each Briton gaining an average of twenty pounds in under two weeks because of all their stuffing involved. A huge whole turkey between a family, several types of vegetable and soup too disgusting to eat unless there was a religious occasion, "Yule logs" made of low-quality chocolate partly moulded to represent thistles as if realism takes priority over goodness, mince pies in cream or brandy sauce, Christmas pudding that is MADE with brandy, as much chocolate as one's friends and family members of whom there are several dozen has bought for one, which builds up to a lot, and many other things so subject to fluctuation according to who is as popular as Harry Potter that year that attempting to name them here is futile or at least pointless. Misty's aim was to give her stomach a real workout even by her deliberately-several-hundred-pounds-overweight standard. She wanted to eat as much of this food - some of every kind she could discover - as would a very greedy Briton over the whole festive season, including that advent build-up where everyone is listening to Christmas songs in money-hungry department stores everywhere they go from the start of October. She didn't know how long all that food would take to shove down her gullet, but she was planning on finishing at least ten kinds of food per meal until she was either done or for some reason unwilling to complete this unusual form of cultural exploration.
In each of the last three Yuletide seasons she had been up against tough challengers in an eating contest, not always being the heavier contender in the process. Last year she had only done best because the contest had had a time limit imposed. Keen not to be beaten by anybody this Christmas, especially not someone she had crossed the path of before, she had spent the whole year giving her stomach as big a workout as she could possibly withstand, force-feeding herself meals of three seventy-two ounce steaks every other lunch as soon as the New Year. She had eventually worked up to managing this every lunch, and eventually every brunch. By August, the time when nowadays the British first start being reminded about the commercial spirit of December with all those advertisements for toys no child could possibly like if there wasn't a spending spree every year, Misty had managed to double this number to six. She used every trick in the book to stuff her stomach to absolute bursting point and to abuse this concept as if with tactics as underhand as those exploited by civil servants when trying to oppose Governmental action in Britain. She had read about a fictitious woman called Kim who was force-fed two-hundred pounds per day by her husband, who was keen on helping her in her goal to be both the heaviest and best human eater in world history, and Misty started thinking: would two hundred be enough?
Misty was gaining weight very quickly, but in September she found she couldn't increase her eating capacity any further, so she has a bit of fat removed from her midsection to give her more room around her stomach. It took a hundred pounds off her waistline, but it did her eating ability the world of good: now, she had more room to eat, but within a couple of months she had gained it all back! This constituted a problem, as it meant she had finally reached her absolute limit. Her body was not built for anything more gluttonous. She was devastated. What if her apparently not bottomless stomach was not close enough to bottomless for her purposes? Of course, she found a solution. She just had the fat moved to her buttocks. If only she could work out a way to keep having it transported there. .
By late December, however, there was a more pressing concern. Misty discovered al too late, on the twenty-first of December, that something truly awful had happened. Brock's conjecture that the legalisation of homosexual marriages throughout England and Wales, following Scotland the previous day and Northern Ireland the day before that, turned out not to address her concern. It turned out that Kate and May were in the same hotel as her, and they were not alone: Melody, Maren and Sakora were there too! Misty was rather distraught at this news but, as a competition the next day held by the hotel indicated, her fears were quite baseless. She beat them all hands down in the buffet contest, which was to see who could gain the most weight in just forty-five minutes. Misty's total of sixty-eight pounds made her the clear lead. The other five girls occupied the rest of the top six places (Ash did not eat anything where chocolate was in the shape of pieces of wood so had not competed), with the rankings as follows:
Sakora 31 pounds
Kate 30 pounds
Melody 26 pounds
Maren 22 pounds
May 19 pounds
Sakora had always been a girl known for her lightning speed, as well as her incredible stamina, but Misty had outperformed her by a margin never before known in her competitions against Sakora. Why? Because Misty had been chomping on so much food every day for a year that she had had to develop speed techniques just to stop boredom or lethargy becoming a limiting factor in her performance. The speedy Sakora narrowly beat Kate, but it was narrow as I say, since Kate was a girl of many eating talents, who had trained another success story, May. However, Misty had beaten both Kate and May in the past during this season without time limits, and Kate's prodigy didn't look so hot this time, coming only sixth in the contest. (there were actually a lot of competitors below her with whom we shall not bore ourselves, but that was no consolation whatsoever for her, as she was the runt of this litter!) Melody, who had stolen Maren's position as head honcho on her native island, had trained hard this year on speed so that what happened last year would not stop her, unless she lacked the stomach-depth to conquer with opportunity. It is no short wonder that Melody outdid Maren, but how Maren outdid May is a bit of a mystery. It might have been because May, a civilised girl, wanted to use her fork.
By the end of the contest, all the girls still looked like their amazing stomachs could take more, presumably for some a lot more, despite being jam-packed (among other things). However, Maren looked worse for wear, and May, fallen from her fallen glory as first-rate, has clearly broken a bit of a sweat half-way through, or at least by the end. It was clear that Melody was still comfortably empty, but even the experienced Kate had been slowing down towards the end. Sakora looked to have maintained her top speed throughout, which helped her to narrowly surge ahead of Kate at the end, but even she had had a luck on her face as the last plate to go down before the whistle went that signalled that, had the contest gone on much longer, she would have had to slow down at least a bit. Misty observed all of this with almost orgasmic pleasure. (Let's not go in to whether she knew what that felt like, okay?) With none of the other girls managing even half as much in three quarters of an hour as did Misty, she felt adventurous enough to show them all up in a really adventurous way on Christmas Eve.
"Hey girls!" she said, as soon as the results are in. "On Christmas Eve let's have an eating contest. I've just proven I'm in a field of my own with a time limit, but let's not have one of those, just to make it more interesting, so we can all push ourselves to the very limits. Even then I've shown up any of you who have taken me on in that way individually, but this time I bet I cat eat more than all of you - COMBINED."
The girls accepted, all of them sure that the five of them would together bring her down - after all, they had between the eaten nearly twice as much as her in the buffet contest. Nonetheless excepting Misty's long-time friend Sakora they retired to discuss a mutual strategy, as they all wanted to make absolutely sure they could win. Kate said they needed to pace themselves. They could, on the speed front, eat (almost) twice as much as Misty in each sufficiently early round: they might as well go slower, to lull Misty in to a false sense of security too! Sakora had expressed no interest in listening to Kate's ideas, but as Kate had at that time aired none it was okay. Kate noted the way it was stamina that allowed Sakora to pip her to the post under Misty at the buffet, so came up with a better idea.
"Okay, Sakora: in each of the rounds we'll take on Misty in a four on one without you, but if she beats us all, you can take her on with a completely empty stomach in a one-on-one. Sound good?"
When the big day arrived, the challengers entered a room under the supervision of Ash and Brock to see mountains of food sprawled across many tables, enough to feed a Snorlax (believe me, they'd checked). Kate and May, now each the same (a thousand pounds), looked particularly in-charge. The rest of the team had neither the experience nor the weight to do the same. Maren had risen to 520 lbs, only a thirty per cent increase during the year, and Melody had deliberately maintained her almost intimidatingly slim 130-lb frame. Sakora, they explained, would be around later. It was then that Misty entered in her full 1,300-lb glory, having literally ballooned in the year from all her training. Had she known the weights of her challengers, including Sakora, she would realise she would need to eat almost twice as much as them pound-for-pound. However, she didn't care: she felt ready for this!
Now, the eating contest began. Each of the four challengers had to start with a 24"-diamater pizza, while Misty had four of them placed underneath her.
"I don't get it," pondered Maren. "How is THIS Christmassy?"
"Duh!" replied Ash, for once a person's savant superior. "The base is made of pastry, so it's like a huge mince pie, only not with . mince."
Naturally the reason for his knowing this was that it was his STUPID idea.
Anyway, the challengers went to work on a quite disgusting concoction, as did Misty, who finished her quartet as the third completion was being made by a challenger, Maren. Despite all the training to eat quickly over the year, Melody had paced her self, as this was part of Kate's plan, so she finished last. It made no difference, anyway, as each round only began when everyone who entered it had either finished or resigned: this latter possibility would not present its self for many rounds despite the enormity of each dish (and the gradual growth of such enormity), since all the girls were top-notch eaters with almost bottomless stomachs. (That doesn't sound right. How can any quantity be NEARLY infinite?) By the time all four challengers were done and looked up to check on Misty, she was smacking her lips and clearly intent on more. The challengers cracked on through many other rounds, each time Misty eating as much as all four of them, although in round 5 they had to wait two minutes for her to finish, as she always found chop sticks rather fiddly. (What? Oh. You want to UNDERSTAND. Well, Ash wanted to give chow mein made with turkey a go!)
After round eight, Maren seemed to be full. She tried to put on a brave face, bit caved in at the mere sight of round 9. That meant Misty only had to eat three copies of it. Which pleased her because it was another one of Ash's weird idea, namely gazpacho à la E314. He might as well have added a zest of thalidomide for all it mattered. She cut through this round and the next and had hardly broken a sweat, obviously enjoying her self tremendously, while the challengers made sure that, even if they were less fortunate, they would show a steely image of confidence just to deter Misty. (That was a trick of Kate's I didn't mention before. There is a reason for that. It didn't work!) Once Round 10 was done the portion size to the next round doubled. We can say this exactly because they were both sirloin with brandy sauce; Ash had run out of ideas. Subsequent plates were no emptier, so rounds 11 and 12 really took their toll on the previously renowned but now quite self-conscious May, so that she could only eat twenty per cent of the 500-christmas-cookie course of round 13. Misty had to munch on just 1,100 rather than 1,500 to get through the round, although it was clear from the way it went that she could have finished the others in the time it took Kate and the now clear contender Melody to get through their meals (remember their strategy). Now the pre-Sakora challengers were only two in umber, so Misty's task was only twice that of anyone else in each round. Even so, she was starting to sweat a bit, albeit not profusely - but more of that anon.
Round 18: chop suey with cranberry sauce, each an annoying food at the best of times. Misty cursed her decision to let Ash, not Brock, choose the recipes (Brock just cooked them in a bit of confusion), as clearly he was trying to make the finale of the contest comic. Round 19: although a more justifiable pudding was used here, it was clear that neither of the challengers left was doing particularly well. Round 20: A whole turkey each. All four turkeys were clearly equal in size, but it was equally clear that these turkeys had no rival elsewhere! Kate was an extremely experienced pro, but Melody was unwilling to be beaten by anybody else in a no-time-limit contest unless it had happened with that opponent before, so she kept going. Kate finished the whole turkey, but admitted before the next round even arrived that she was out for the count. Having lasted as long as Kate, melody looked as content as if she was as empty as when she started. Kate had to admit, the girl had real spunk. She would go far.
"Keep it up, Melody! Maybe we won't need to use Sakora after all if you're that good!"
It was true that Misty looked significantly more addled than Melody, but now that it was a one-on-one she felt a bit more confident. She smiled a smile that spoke the words: There, now you're all alone, however good you may be!
Melody ate and ate and ate for the next four rounds as if her stomach was the size of an industrial meat-storage compartment, but Misty matched her bite-for-bite, always ahead, sometimes by over fifty per cent of the course. Melody suddenly lost her ability to keep going as impressively in Round 25, but nonetheless managed to finish the whole of Round 26 before being ready to concede defeat. Misty looked like she was about to faint, but in the end a thirty-second pause at the end of the round showed that it was Melody instead who was done. To say that her stomach was swollen would be a major understatement, as she had finally passed the 200-lb mark with a 75-pound many-meals extravaganza. It was absurd. It was inhuman. It was worthy of the envy of Emperor Maximus (see Polycharacters). However, that together with all the food consumed by the others was STILL not enough to sink the Cerulean ship before them!
"Alright," smirked Misty, casually dangling a cookie (god I hate using that word for you lot because you don't even know what a biscuit is, although if you paid attention in your underfunded French lessons you would know that it has the same spelling as the original name of French toast in France) in front of her mouth to indicate her willingness to eat it, if only it were part of the next course. "You can bring in Sakora now. I don't blame you for giving her the preferential secret-weapon treatment. I'm unsurprised that you felt you could rub in to me my difficult history staying on top of her at the best of times. However, I'm still gonna win!"
Misty meant it, which was plain for all to see. Out came Sakora in her 650-lb glory, bringing the total pre-contest weight of all of Kate's assistants to that of Misty. Sakora was wearing a "I ate a 100-lb fish" T-shirt. It was genuine. Sakora it seemed was a tougher eater than even Melody, which meant that Misty should not have already started sweating if she expected to win. However, it was then that she revealed it had all been a confidence trick! Misty proceeded to unbuckle her belt, allowing her angry red belly to become a bit pinker in colour, revealing she was just getting warmed up for this in reality. Even the ever-confident Sakora let out an "Eep!" that the challenger heard, although neither Misty nor her supporters heard such a . comment.
It was now time for another one on one, in Round 27, kicking off with one of those huge mince pies described in my very first Nightmare of Christmas story. What would happen? Only another three or four hours (so far three hours forty-two minutes had elapsed) would tell, it seemed. Sakora made it quite clear, however, that she wanted the pace picked up a bit!
With only one person left to challenge Misty's stomach, the matter of who had so far eaten the most since the beginning of the one-on-one was ambiguous, so waiting for the opponent to resign or finish the round was unnecessary. The question was what would happen to the lead. Sakora specialised in speed, and Misty had eaten so much already, and yet Sakora was not ahead throughout, but instead the lead went backwards and forwards so often that after just a few rounds it was clear to all present that any further attempts to study it were pointless, and perhaps futile. However, Sakora was nonetheless clearly on a role. She was slowing done by the end of round 50 and by the start of round 65 was nearly full, but Misty was also in a difficult position. The clam demeanour she had displayed earlier was long gone, the mounds of fat around her stomach finally starting to choke it. Sakora may have been very, VERY full, having gone way past that amazing achievement mentioned on her shirt, but at least she didn't have that look on her face. Mind you, she was feeling very tired. She was too cocky to realise that was really her stomach begging for mercy. In truth she was running even lower on room than she felt she was. This would in truth come right down to the wire. She had already realised she wouldn't be able to eat Misty under the table and THEN munch her way through what Misty had eaten before, as would be necessary to really show up the girl who had made such an ambitious project her own, but nonetheless Sakora was sure that Misty was done.
Round 65 brought on twelve pieces of chocolate akin to the advent-calendar kind, each the shape of one of the gifts of the twelve days of Christmas and each the size of one of those projector clocks. Sakora grinned at Misty, who had managed to finish round 64 with her but looked for all the world like she had finally reached the bursting point, or was at least very close. A smiling Sakora practically inhaled the first two before a clearly addled Misty followed suit. Panic set in as she realised the consequences of losing to Sakora, whether or not she had an excuse. With all her past adversaries involved in her downfall, she knew she could not afford to lose. Yet her stomach had absolutely unimaginable amounts of food inside it already. Up against Sakora, who made Melody's eating habits look like those of an anorexic, Misty had gradually had to remove almost all of her clothing. (Sakora had not had to do anything so demeaning because she came well-dressed for the occasion, as did all the other girls!)
"A dozen!" yelled Sakora, cocky but in truth absolutely full. "You're done, big girl. Give up?" she asked, as she suddenly found her self drifting off to sleep. Misty worked and worked and, eventually, the last one slid down. It was tough, but by gloriously remembering every calorie and victory before and by concentrating on the sheer delight of the food's taste, she did it, the last one sliding down almost easily, as if she was barely starting. It was an illusory feel, but she did have a bit more room left than it had seemed before after all. The others tried to wake Sakora but, although they managed that much, they couldn't get her to start the next course - even though it was ice cream.
"Come on, Misty!" said Ash, who was deliberately using a small course at this point because it would . well, be surprising after all this. Who would have thought it would be the decider? "Sakora can't eat any more at all. She said so, even though she knows what it is. Come on, just ONE BITE!" By the time his speech was done, however, she had swallowed the whole thing, and was licking her lips and apparently prepared for more - not that she had to eat any now.
What a brilliant early Christmas present. She had done it. She had been right. Two hundred was not enough after all. On the other hand, three hundred was so much that it was neither necessary in the event nor (she expected) possible of her.
The End (of this one)
Note: this is loosely inspired by the Pam stories, which can be seen at:
(This is a suggested reading order, based on chronology to the best of my knowledge.)